An American Tale

I wasn't sure how to title this because a few things came to mind last night after I started reading the comments about my last post (I SO appreciate you for taking the time to read and pray for us...there are no words..)

Yesterday, Scott and I went to get our biometrics done. That's a fancy way of saying FBI fingerprints, (just another step in the process). Scott's went great! My lady took,(what it seemed like), forever! However she kept saying my fingerprints were smooth. Cool! I've got smooth hands. If any of you know about my hands, they are the wrinkliest, dry hands EVER! It's a family trait:). Anyways, she said that the FBI will have a final say on if they come out OK. If not, I will have to go back and redo them. Seriously? Do I look like a terrorist or criminal? Man, I kept thinking to myself, "push 'em down harder, lady"-but I didn't say that, of course. So, another waiting game, that's out of my hands.

The strangest thing that stuck with me was when she asked if we were adopting, and from where. I told her Russia! She commented awhile on how cold it will be (thanks for reminding me-like I didn't already know that!), and then she started praising me for doing this. She said, "how brave we were and how wonderful it is that we are adopting!" I should be flattered, right? Wrong! I had heard this before from some other adoptive parents, that when they get praised for adopting, they feel something other than gratitude. What? Why was I not feeling giddy and like a halo was over my head? I actually felt shame. Shame for not have taken action sooner! Shame for not opening my eyes to the horrible orphan crisis around the world. I think I gave myself a "free pass", if you will, because my youngest brother was adopted (at 5 days old:)) and I was done! I can't believe I felt this! If anything, I hope God places it on someone else's heart to be open to His children, who are fatherless, or allow their hearts to break for them and take action in some way. Don't get me wrong, we appreciate your encouragement and prayers more than anything. Having you and God on our side is more than our little family can ask for. So if you sing me praises and I act a little funny towards you about it, it's not because I'm not gracious, it's that my heart hurts a little more.

So, with all that sad, sappy stuff, get ready for some more! I promise, I don't mean to make you sad and teary eyed! The first time we told our parents we were adopting internationally, without knowing exactly where from yet, I was struck with a childhood memory. We were outside sitting on our front porch and I remember the stars being so bright. I was talking to my mom and asked her if she remembered the Disney cartoon with that cute little Russian mouse, Feivel. "An American Tale" she said! You know where I'm going with this, don't you? I instantly remembered as a child crying to that song, "Somewhere Out There." At the time, it didn't really have much meaning, other than, I couldn't imagine not knowing where your family was in the world. That song, now has so much more meaning! So, I found it on Youtube, and yep, I'm posting it! Happy listening! Seriously, don't cry...I dare you!

Once again, you'll have to scroll down to the bottom of my blog page and turn the volume down on my playlist to hear this video.